Discipline: An Act of Self Love

It’s that time of year again. The presents have been opened, the food coma is wearing off. And now it is time to start looking forward to a new year, with new opportunities to set and accomplish new goals.

I want to kick this off by asking you some questions: are you treating yourself like someone you love? How do you talk to yourself? Do you extend compassion and understanding to others, yet are ruthless and unforgiving with yourself?

Many of us are all too familiar with the never-ending cycle of goal-setting this time of year: set a goal, do ok for a week, maybe two, fall back into old patterns and habits, quit working toward the goal, keep not seeing progress, continue with the frustration of not achieving success with whatever that goal was, and then repeat again next January. We use the new year as a reason to start over again, to reset, and try harder. But, if we don’t address what’s causing us to fall short each time, we will continue to repeat the same cycle.

So what gets in our way? Oftentimes we do not hit our goals because of some limitation or lack of drive, clarity, or motivation. Whatever it is that is causing the disconnect, you can overcome it with discipline. And discipline, simply stated, is self-love.

Once you truly make the connection between discipline and self-love, things change.

For everything negative, there is a positive. And between the negative and the positive is where discipline exists. For example, if someone is overweight, but wants to be a healthy weight, discipline is what it takes to get there. If you do not have enough money saved, discipline is what it will take to have a healthy savings account.

Doing the hard things that you don’t want to do takes discipline. By doing these activities, you become healthier and happier. What better way to say you love yourself than giving yourself the best chance of being healthy, living longer, and being more flexible?

If you struggle with reaching your goals, ask yourself, do you believe that you deserve to be happy, healthy, and secure? Take some time to self-reflect and honestly answer this question. Try to visualize yourself arriving where you want to be. How would you feel if you did reach these goals? What would be different about your life? And most importantly, do you believe that you deserve to feel that way? If the answer is no, or you’re not sure, or if you hesitated in any way to say “yes,” then learning to love yourself is where you need to start with goal-setting this year.

Many of us spend so much time taking care of everyone around us that we forget to take care of ourselves. We are always at the bottom of our own list. While you may feel like this is very selfless and caring, these are actually behaviors that continually reinforce the idea that you are not worthy of more in your life.

Make sure that you are filling your own cup as you fill the cup of others. You will have so much more to offer others if you are taking care of yourself first. Do you believe that you deserve that? If not, make 2022 the year that you begin to believe it.

Til Next Time,

Johnny Mo

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